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43 unread messages.

40 of them from my aunt

none of them without attachments

all of it crap

god damn that woman, and everyone else who forwards shit mail for that matter. email jokes? no thanks. they are never funny, most are old, and i don't have the time to read that garbage. well i have the time, i have plenty of time, but plenty of better things to do to. and worse things to do, things i'd rather be doing than reading "ten things that women want" from my fucking aunt. i tell her i never read my mail. sending more will make me want to read it less. to hell with her, i'm just going to get a new address and that will be the end of it... until she calls and asks if i've read her letters. that ought to be fun... "no, aunt nancy. i don't read your mail. most of it is shit i read two years ago when it was first mass-mailed across the globe. the shit your coworkers send you isn't funny. the shit your friends send you isn't funny. in fact, most things people over forty think are funny, aren't funny. and you know what? mailing things to people that isn't funny, isn't funny. even mailing funny things to people doesn't make you funny because you weren't the one who came up with it in the first place. you know what would be funny though? formatting your hard drive. and driving your car into a ditch."