News Item: : today was the worst day in history
(Category: Gah)
Posted by Coach Fabio
Monday 22 September 2003 - 20:40:48
It began this morning with an awakening at six thirty. That alone is enough to ruin anyone's day, but that was, by the very nature of it being the awakening, only the beginning. School didn't seem interesting enough to attend -- actually that's not the reason i didn't go -- there were a couple things i was supposed to work on last weekend but didn't feel like it so I just went to McDonald's, got a pair of breakfast burritos, and sat out by the playground like a ch'lester eating those and smoking cigarettes as I eyed people driving past.
There went an hour and a half. After that, off to Eckerd to piss (after waiting for an Asian gentleman to take a ten minute dump) and fuck around for as long as possible. Then to the library where I could read about war, reproduction and foreign coins. Well not really foreign coins, I have no interest in those because, since they're foreign, I can't buy shit with them. You might be saying to yourself "gee, that doesn't sound too bad, I'm sure there are people in Cambodia who never get to do those things." Well Cambodians can suck a fucking dick. It's not my fault they exist in a stone-age jungle squalor with no electricity and elephants. That's right, there are wild elephants in cambodia. Which brings me to another point -- if there were wild elephants in Florida, this day wouldn't have been half as bad. Oh ya, you were thinking it wasn't so bad. Well i'm not finished yet. So after going home I found out that my sister's pet rat died. Now this didn't really make my day any worse... I had nothing against the rodent, in fact I kinda liked it, but its death had no significant impact on me. Then I went to sleep. After that I don't even remember, that's how bad the day was. Not bad as in omfg my gfx card burned out or omfg my girlfriend has been fucking two of my best friends without me, but bad as in wtf, nothing good happened. Seriously, the highlight of the day was going outside, digging a hole and burying the rat in a cardboard box. Today would have been an ideal day for a terrorist attack simply because nothing happened. That's serious bullshit right there. In fact that whole ordeal was bullshit. Next time something like this happens I'm going to just drive my golf cart out into Goodlette road and cause as many traffic accidents as I possibly can before I'm either killed or placed under arrest. Oh that reminds me, I don't know why it reminded me, but I also set off a rudimentary gasoline bomb in another hole in the yard. That sucked too. My computer sucks too, it likes to give me a blue screen with numbers, technical babble, and "memory dump" something or another. I guess that's what happens when you use one stick of pc100 and one of pc133. At least the Call of Duty demo ran alright, although after dicking with the lighting settings and then alt-tabbing out, everything else retained those lighting settings so I had to restart the computer. I can't take this shit.
This news item is from Lollerskates: NIPPLES
( http://lollerskates.org/main/comment.php?27 )
